Monday, October 4, 2010

Contradiction

I have two possible blog post topics rolling around my head.

The first is about the feelings of miraculousness that I have when I hold my sweet Samuel. The way that I melt when I look into his tiny, angelic face. His perfect, dark eyes. His miniature toes. His soft skin. His millions of accidental facial expressions - especially the one where he looks totally perplexed and even has rows of wrinkles on his forehead.

The second is about the feelings of frustration that I have when I hold my discontented Samuel for an hour straight and get nothing done all day because I feed him, hold him, take 10 minutes to rest, and then it's time to feed him again.

Having a little guy is tough. He doesn't know how to calm himself down and fall asleep when he's tired. He had major gas pains that leave him howling in agony after multiple feedings a day. And when he does sleep, I want to rest, too, not promptly get to work. Just when I'm feeling like I could get up and do something, he wakes up. I plan around his feeding schedule, but he isn't really on that set of a schedule yet.

...He just started crying again. I guess that means I'm done blogging.

But there is that whole "he's a total miracle" thing, too. It's a good thing. Otherwise this would SO not be worth it!

{read that last sentence with a good dose of humor.}

3 comments:

ladyshanae said...

The one good thing I can say about this phase of life is that, in the grand scheme of things, it is short. He will only be this tiny and this needy for a few short months. Short is a relative term, of course, because it feels eternal when you are in the middle of it.

I'd say to give yourself a break - you are a mom of FOUR awesome kiddos now and if it takes you a little longer to get back on your feet, then take the time to appreciate the little moments that you will never get back.

Love ya, girl!

Nancy said...

Long term, betcha only remember the miraculous part. (Although I do still vaguely recall one long nignt 11 years ago when Christopher screamed through the entire Westminster Dog Show. Why on Earth was that what I chose to watch through said rant?)

angela michelle said...

beep..beep...beep. This is your time-to-post alarm. Do not press snooze.