Wednesday, September 29, 2010


Scene from our house yesterday:

I am sitting on the couch, nursing Samuel. Beside me, Isaiah is pretending to nurse Asher. Beside him, Asher is pretending to nurse a pretend platypus.

Sometimes it gets a little weird around here.

Monday, September 27, 2010


My sister, Angela, was just teasing me that I may be "back", as my last post was titled, but I'm certainly not back to blogging. Hey, life is busy! ... I'm just not quite sure what I'm so busy doing since it seems like I reach the end of the day and I've done nothing. I guess when you spend 6 hours a day sitting on a couch feeding a baby, it leaves little time for much else. Anyway, I'll try to do better. I do want to document these crazy times.
Samuel is doing great still. We've hit a few bumps with feeding, but nothing major. He's growing so fast still. At his 2 week appointment he had gained exactly one pound from his birth weight, and I'm sure he's continued to grow since then. His cheeks are filling out! I can't wait until he gets good and chubby!

Naomi is loving first grade still. She especially loves that they do art, music, gym, and Spanish. Her teacher is fabulous and even made a personal visit to our house since I hadn't been able to make it to the school to meet her.
Asher is becoming the sweetest boy ever. He is such a peacemaker in our home, especially with Isaiah. And he's is loving his preschool much, much more than he did last year. I think part of that is that he has very enthusiastic teachers, and part of it is having out-grown his grumpy phase. He loves to do the craft projects this year, which he flat out refused to do a lot of the time last year.

I guess Asher replaced Isaiah as the sweetest boy ever, so Isaiah has adopted the role of trouble maker extraordinaire. He is pouty and defiant. The real problem, though, is that he's still so darn cute that it's hard to discipline him. He's loving preschool, too.
And I feed the baby. That's all. ...Well, not really, but that's how it feels some days. I'm slowly re-claiming my house, cupboard by cupboard. I miss Naomi when she's off at school, but it's fun to have time with just me and the boys. I'm dreaming of going to see a movie in a real movie theatre. And I'm wishing my husband would stop working long enough to hang out with me.

My THREE boys, playing at the kitchen table:
Richard is working. A lot! He's great about helping with the pick-ups and drop-offs and breakfast and dinner, but he swoops in, helps, and swoops back off to work much faster than I'd like. Now that I'm up and about, I want to hang out with my awesome hubby! But hopefully this crazyness won't last much longer.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

I'm Back

I can't believe the change in myself just from the beginning of this week til now. I felt so un-capable at the start of this week. I felt completely overwhelmed. I was sure that *if* I did live through the week, it would be the hardest week of my life.

But I lived. Because I talked to my doctor and he basically told me that I should just get over it. Ya know, nicely. I asked if all that I was feeling was normal or if the pain meant I had done too much. And he told me it was normal. And that's all I needed to hear, I guess. If I have to live with some pain, fine. I can do that. But I was just so ... freaked out, I guess, by how different the recovery from a C-section was that I couldn't see past the pain.

But now that I've been told to get over it, I've moved on. I'm fine. There's still pain, and it's not like I'm running marathons or even up and down the stairs. But I feel much more able to handle life as it comes now. ... All just because I was told to.

So this week I've done a slew of things that I honestly haven't done in four months. I showered and dressed and put on make-up every single day. I did laundry. I did dishes. I put the kids to bed up in their rooms. I made and served dinner to the family. I shopped - by myself, with just Samuel and with all the kids. I threw a birthday party for Richard with decorations and such. I straightened this or that which have been ignored for months.

And it all felt so good! And exhausting! I'm certainly not 100% yet, but after months of such limitations, even 30% seems like a lot!

I'm glad to be back.

Monday, September 13, 2010


My Mom and Dad left town yesterday after their week-long visit. When they left, I really felt like I couldn't handle life without them. This recovering from a c-section is so very, very different from anything I've experienced before. It's weird to have just had my fourth child-birth experience and still be so clueless about what to expect. I've never been on strong pain-killers for so long in my life. I spent a whole 10 days relying heavily on Percocet to be able to move! I finally feel like I can get by with just frequent Advil dosing. Wearing pants is tricky because they seem to want to push on the incision site (not to mention my oddly shaped backside!). And to top all that off, I'm just plain exhausted from feeding a newborn every 3 hours.

But, despite my feelings that I wouldn't be able to handle it, I am handling it. - With a lot of help from Richard and our friends still, of course. - We'll make it just fine. Sure, we'll have a very low standard set for ourselves, but we'll make it work. Sadly, we only get to keep the nanny this week and then she's found another job. But she was only going to come on Tuesday and Thursday mornings anyway since the boys have Preschool Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

If this post so far seems a bit like I'm trying to convince myself that I'm OK just as much as I'm trying to convince you, you're right on. I do need some convincing. I don't really feel entirely sure that I can handle it. I know in my head that I can - but ... let's just say the hormones with this pregnancy and birth have been a whole new (huge) ball of wax, too.

The one thing that has gone totally right - even more so than could possibly have been expected - is Samuel. He really is a perfect gentleman so far. He eats great, he sleeps great, and he's so freakin' cute it's unbelievable. Nursing has gone wonderfully from the very beginning. He occasionally goes four hours between feedings at night. He has some awake time each afternoon to get ready for night time. He's perfect.

*sigh* Patience. I know. Patience.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Open Eyes

Proof that he's still perfect. And that he can open his eyes.

The Blur

The blur of pain, sleep, feedings, hospital visits, emotional breakdowns, drugs, etc.

A C-section sure is way, way harder to get over than a vaginal birth. Ick. Plus coming off of bed rest for four months left me with swollen limbs and a headache every time I stand up for too long.

A few days after I got home from the hospital I realized I had this crushing headache that was just getting worse and worse. Eventually I couldn't even stand up because of the pain. Apparently my epidural had left a little hole in my spinal cord. It happens sometimes. So I spent an afternoon at the hospital getting a "blood patch" (they took my blood out of my arm and injected it near the epidural so that the blood would clot and help me heal).

Then at Sammy's first doctor's appointment I had a little emotional breakdown that freaked all the nurses and doctors out and was totally humiliating. Just minutes before, the doctor had been lecturing me about how normal hormone fluctuations are - so why did she freak out when I burst into tears at the thought of taking Samuel back to the hospital to have his Billirueben tested? (Which, by the way, was totally fine.)

Richard and my Dad have both also had health issues this week that have sent them to the doctors. And the boys had their routine check ups. So nearly everybody has seen a doctor this week. Sheesh.

About a week after being born Samuel realized there was an option other than sleep or eat. He opened his eyes a little more often and started having some awake time. He is still totally cute and perfect. No change there!

I am finally feeling like maybe there is a way I can handle this on my own. Which is good since my parents go back to their house in far, far away Texas tomorrow. *sigh* Can't they stay and take care of us forever?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

School Begins

School started here with much less fanfare than usual. Grandma Ashurst was a huge help since I was still pretty much totally out of commission. But despite me not being very involved, the kids had great first days.

Naomi started first grade at Rolling Ridge Elementary. Go Roadrunners! She is gone until 3pm and we really miss her!

Asher returned to Preschool at Kids Under Construction for another year of fun. And Isaiah started at Kids Under Construction. They both go three days a week in the mornings. They are in different classes, but were very excited to have seen each other in the hall once. Isaiah also has speech therapy still two days a week - so there are pick ups and drop offs every day of the week. For now, Daddy is doing all of that - but as soon as I'm cleared for driving again by my doctor, it'll be me doing most of it.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Play By Play

6am: Grandma Worth arrives to watch sleeping kids while we head in for a 6:45 check-in.

7am: We arrive in the labor and delivery room and enjoy bedside registration.

8am: Dr. Tashman successfully has half the stitches removed, but we decide we need an epidural before removing any more.

9am: Epidural. Ahhhh.

10am: More searching for stitches to be removed. Dr. Tashman snipped the last stitch but didn't remove the thread.

11am: It looks like I'm in good labor, so we decide to leave things alone for now, and see how it progresses.

12noon: Still laboring. Yeah for epidurals. Sleeping and watching TV.

1pm: Not really progressing, so we decide to try Pitocin to speed up the contractions. Dr. Tashman comes in an ups the pitocin level, which causes Samuel's heart rate to drop, so we turn it off.

2pm: Back to waiting for natural labor progression.

3pm: Sleeping, watching TV, sleeping, watching TV. Not much on other than crazy hostage crisis in MD on every local and national news channel.

4pm: Dr. Tashman removed the last stitch, thinking it was still keeping things tight even though it was snipped. With all the stitches removed, we decide to try Pitocin again and it crashes Samuel (again) and Nancy, so we stop again. Latest theory is the umbilical cord is pinched or wrapped around Samuel somehow, maybe around his neck.

5pm: One more try with Pitocin but the recovery between crashes is too long. Natural contractions starting to weaken and slow instead of progressing.

6pm: There is mention of a C-section in our near future if labor doesn't progress beyond this point.

7pm: Samuel starts crashing even without Pitocin and my temperature reaches 99.9 so we quickly decide to go ahead with a C-section, which had been discussed and prayed about for the last hour.

8pm: I am in the OR with Richard in scrubs by my head, holding my hand and ready with the camera.

8:07pm: Samuel is born :) No complications, nothing is wrong. Dr. T says the cord was too short for Samuel to have ever gone through the birth canal. We cry for joy.

9pm: I join Samuel and Richard in post-op recovery.

10pm: We hear that all of Samuel's tests are normal, even though he is considered late pre-term (37.5 weeks). I get to drink something other than water for the first time in 24 hours.

11pm: We finally settle into our postpartum room.

11:01pm: ZZzzzzzzz....

Wednesday, September 1, 2010