Last night I left my sleeping big kids and my awake baby with a friend while I went to a baby shower. I assured my friend that Sammy would be a delight for about 45 minutes and then he would fall asleep. Apparently I was very wrong. Apparently he screamed pretty much the entire time I was gone. I felt just awful for my friend. Apparently Samuel has entered the "Stranger Awareness" phase of his babyhood.
This phase is a hard one. It makes leaving him with friends, or even Grandma, difficult. It makes going to the gym more like a timed sprint then a relaxing exercise session (how much cardio can I get in before the child care people page me over the intercom system?). But this phase also has it's up side.
Samuel looks at me like I am the source of all joy. And, most of the time, for him, I am! His sweet little eyes lock onto me like ... something locked - with a really big lock. His adorable smile reels me in like I'm a fish on a hook. Sometimes the whole world stops and it's just him in my arms with the camera doing a little circle around us in slow motion. Sometimes he looks at me and he has so much joy that all his appendages start moving simultaneously. Sometimes I look at him and I have so much joy that I cannot not stop and kiss him.
Sometimes even the phases that are difficult, are wonderful.