I can't believe the change in myself just from the beginning of this week til now. I felt so un-capable at the start of this week. I felt completely overwhelmed. I was sure that *if* I did live through the week, it would be the hardest week of my life.
But I lived. Because I talked to my doctor and he basically told me that I should just get over it. Ya know, nicely. I asked if all that I was feeling was normal or if the pain meant I had done too much. And he told me it was normal. And that's all I needed to hear, I guess. If I have to live with some pain, fine. I can do that. But I was just so ... freaked out, I guess, by how different the recovery from a C-section was that I couldn't see past the pain.
But now that I've been told to get over it, I've moved on. I'm fine. There's still pain, and it's not like I'm running marathons or even up and down the stairs. But I feel much more able to handle life as it comes now. ... All just because I was told to.
So this week I've done a slew of things that I honestly haven't done in four months. I showered and dressed and put on make-up every single day. I did laundry. I did dishes. I put the kids to bed up in their rooms. I made and served dinner to the family. I shopped - by myself, with just Samuel and with all the kids. I threw a birthday party for Richard with decorations and such. I straightened this or that which have been ignored for months.
And it all felt so good! And exhausting! I'm certainly not 100% yet, but after months of such limitations, even 30% seems like a lot!
I'm glad to be back.