Thursday, June 19, 2008

Ok, OK, OK

OK, my post yesterday apparently hit a nerve that I didn't really mean to hit on. I really was not trying to offend anyone. But I guess any time you take a narrow view of things you risk offending and causing controversy.

I think my brother-in-law Kevin's comment rang most true as far as saying what I was trying to say:

"So, the point is, Nancy you are a generalist. You like to be good at lots of things. You try not to overthink things. Your husband(and his brothers) can tend to overthink things, but that's because they hate to think, "Oh, shoot, it would have been better if..." But, again, neither one of these is better than the other. And it's not gender specific. There are many females who are the best at what they do - singers, gymnasts, etc. And there are plenty of men who are good at "everything else"!"

See the previous post for his entire comment.

I think what I should have said in my post yesterday was that that's the way Richard and my relationship works. He is really, really, really good at his job and what he does on the computer. That does not mean that he is not good at anything else. He is just definitely a specialist who excels in that area. But he is also a fabulous father, great at playing games and having fun, and many other things. I, however, have never studied any one thing long enough to become really, really, really good at it. But I think I'm relatively good at anything I try (with some exceptions like sports). So it works out well in our relationship for Richard to go to work and do his thing and me to stay home and manage lots of things.

I apologize for too much generalization. I hate to be lumped into groups that way, so I'm sorry that I did it to any of you.


Kelly said...

Nanc, I wasn't offended, just shocked at this statement "Men are supposed to be really good at one thing - their jobs. Women are supposed to be really good at everything else."
I think you explained in this post what you were trying to say.

Come on!! Don't put that kind of pressure on me to be really good at everything else while Kevin just has to be good at his job!!! :)

Jessica said...

I honestly don't think you should have had to explain yourself. I think our personal blogs should be a place that we can say anything we like without explanation. Of course we don't want people to have the wrong idea about us,.. but still. This whole thing is the hardest part of blogging to me. On the one hand I want to be able to say whatever I want without the fear of retribution -it is after all my personal "journal". And on the other hand I am always conscious of what I write, to try and avoid these kind of situations. Maybe next time I write something controversial, I'll just turn off the comments on the post :)

Clyde said...

You keep the posts coming, Nancy. Controversial or not, we like to hear about your world.

PS In my case I sure like to think that I CAN do everything else. It keep my ego high in the sky! :)

Kelly said...

I think you only explain yourself if you think people misread what you wrote and even then you have no obligation even if you feel like you offended others. Otherwise there is no obligation to explain what you wrote if that's what you feel and don't really care what people say.

It feels like an oxymorn to me to have a "personal" journal where the whole world can read it. You open yourself up to comments by putting it on a public blog with comments welcomed. Just because people put comments on a blog that disagree with what you wrote doesn't mean you have to write another post to explain away anything.
If people don't want to hear what other people think even if it means they disagree with you then don't put up a place for comments (per jessica's comment).

angela michelle said...

My husband definitely goes to work and, for the most part, does only what he's really good at. At home I do what I'm good at and what I love--and a lot of other stuff. I the hippie English major just paid all the bills--not my math major husband. Housewives HAVE to be generalists.

I agree if you write a blog you've got to be willing to hear the comments--even the disagreeing ones. We learn from that feedback and use it to refine our thoughts, right? I also think commenters have a responsibility to show some support and tact. My blog is my party and if you don't like me and my blog just go somewhere else! :)

Kelly said...

I'll just put this out there for any clarification needed. Nancy and I have talked, she knows I'm not being mean, etc. She wants my comments and I really like her! :) We have very different lives on some levels and many commonalities on other levels.
I'm still invited to the party, right Nancy?

Nancy Sabina said...

Yes, Kelly, you are definitely still invited to the party. I always appreciate your comments since they come from a place of love and because you have such fabulous insight from your education and job. And because, like you said, we have different lives in some ways.
And Jessica ang Ang, and Clyde you're invited too. Becaue I love you too.

Clyde said...

Angela's points and views are SOOO straight-forward and well-put/written thoughts. She explains herself beautifully.

She's another smarty-pants Ashurst!

Rebecca said...

My comment was going to be similar to what kelly said--the other day I commented on that one generalization, but I liked teh post about trucks and princess and stuff....

Thank you to everyone for your comments on blogs and responding to comments.....I'm taking them for myself, and I totally agree. It's just hard when *some people* don't quite get the fact that "my blog is my party."

kelly said: "I think you only explain yourself if you think people misread what you wrote and even then you have no obligation even if you feel like you offended others." Yes! But really, people have a choice to be offended and some people are going to find offense in any little thing.....