Fondness

There's just not much to blog these days. I lay around all day. I alternate between my left side and my right. Movies, TV and books. Potty breaks are my only excuse to stand up.

I realize that this blog is not entirely about me. I usually also blog about the kids and what's going on in the family. But it's harder to do that when I'm not really a part of any of it.

Yesterday the kids played with Grandma in the morning and then Richard took them to the pool in the afternoon. So I'm sure they had a fun Memorial Day - I just didn't witness any of it. So I have no cute stories to share.

I try to be involved with the kids as much as possible, even from my prone position. But it's very overwhelming to talk to three kids when you are lower than them. They crowd around and over me and I quickly feel claustrophobic and overwhelmed. I try to have one on one time with each kid each day. But even that usually ends with all three kids piled around me in chaos. It's good chaos for them, but it's ... a lot... for me.

I'm really not fond of this helpless, totally dependent, me, me, me state that I'm in. When I can see that Richard is overwhelmed or even just pinched for time, it's so hard not to just get up and help. Shouting orders from the couch only helps so much as far as "help" goes.

...As you can see, it's getting harder and harder to stay cheery. But I thought I might want to remember some of this. ... So that some day, when I look back on it, I can remember it with fondness.

There's not much fondness at the moment.

Edited later to add:
My mother in law, Margaret, just left such a lovely comment that I had add it to the text here so that you would all be sure to see it:
"I enjoy playing with your kids, since you can't. A great story from yesterday (Memorial day) and one which I will always remember and treasure. The kids came in from playing outside and I was going to vacuum in the family room-which they don't like due to the noise. They said "can we play outside?' "No" I said, "I just got you clean and dry" (we had been playing in the water table). They said, "we can't play in the family room- it will be too noisey. "Can we play in the front room ?" "No" I said "the front room is always 'off limits'" "Can we go see Mom?" "No" I said, "she is resting right now." "Can we play in the basement?" "No" I said "Your dad has his office in the basement and he is working right now."
They looked dejected, they were out of ideas and all of a sudden Naomi said "Let's go to my room, I will read you a story!" And off they all went as happy as can be!!! Hooray for kids who can problem solve and be pro-active. That Naomi is a trooper!"
So, see, they're still cute. I just don't know about it.