Let me share what's been on my mind lately. Not exactly shockingly, it relates to Motherhood. I suppose I could save this to share on Mother's Day, but Isaiah's birthday is that day too, so I'll probably be blogging about that then.
In the book I'm reading (the name of which I won't even mention because it's a stupid, no-thought-involved novel) the woman reads her mother's diary and discovers that she had always wanted to be a nurse, but that she had set that desire aside to stay home and support her family. The mother, in her diary, even expresses her desire to not work because she wants to be a "helpmate" for her husband. The daughter, upon reading this, is outraged on behalf of her mother. She actually claims to be mourning on behalf of her mother for this lost dream of hers. And even after the mother reassures her that she has no regrets, the daughter is still totally sad and outraged. Oh, and the daughter is also a mother to two older children of her own.
As I was reading this, I realized how truly blessed I am. I have always had a strong desire to be a mother. I have not ever had any desire to be anything else (except, occasionally I admit to having the desire to be on a beach in Hawaii - but I'd still be a Mom, just a Mom on vacation!). I don't struggle with feelings of "Oh I wish I'd..." or "What if I'd just..." I am overjoyed that my life has, so far, turned out just the way I'd have planned it. (OK, fine, if I was really planning it I'd have more money and live in the North West, and some wonderful high school girl would stop by my house for two hours every afternoon to play with my kids and scrub toilets.)
I am blessed to have these children. And to love them deeply. And to want more of them. My life is pretty much my very own kind of fairy tale.
Disclaimer: I am not, in any way, claiming that I walk around, literally on Cloud 9, all day. But, irregardless of my daily ups and downs, I still feel overwhelmingly blessed.