Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Cruel Cosmic Trick

I feel like my body has played a cruel cosmic trick on me.

I started spotting (bleeding a little) this morning so I called my Dr. He took a look, and sounded optimistic. My uterus is just the right size for a 10 week pregnant person. My hormone levels are just where they should be, etc. But he sent me to have a sonogram just to be sure. During the sonogram, I saw the little sack where my baby should be. It is a black void. Nothing is in it. No baby ever actually grew. My body thinks there's a baby in there, so it's doing all the normal things, but there's no baby. Never was. No "blueberry".

I feel jipped. Tricked. Betrayed.

We're hoping that my body will take care of this itself in the next few days/week. If it doesn't I may need a D&C. But I am carrying on with my trip to Utah. A restful, fun couple of days seems like just the right thing right now.

15 comments:

Spencer and Kami said...

*Hugs* Love ya girl. Let me know if there is anything I can for you.

angela michelle said...

I feel jipped and tricked too. You're a champ. I hope this weekend is just the thing for you.

erica said...

I'm sorry. oh, man. jipped and tricked is how I would put it lightly.

ladyshanae said...

*hugs you tightly*

I hope your trip helps you relax, have fun, and not be stuck dwelling on this crappy turn of events.

And you'll recover quickly and I know you'll be announcing exciting news again before too long. It happened the last time, remember?

Still, though - I am very sorry you've got to go through all this again :( Love you lots, girl, and thinking of you today and always!

chelsea said...

cruel trick indeed, i'm so sorry. do you just wonder what your body is thinking sometimes, i mean honestly... have fun in UT, what are you going there for? we were going to convince you guys to come see us this weekend, but sounds like there are other things to do, whatever...

Grandpa Earl said...

Love and kisses.
Dad

(I'd send a big hug, too, but now that I know you don't actually LIKE bear hugs, I'll go easy on you.)

SewsCute said...

That stinks. Have a fun trip anyway and enjoy yourself.

Jessica said...

I am so sorry to hear that. I know nothing I say will make it better, so I will just shut up

Elieson Family said...

Oh Nancy. I'm so sorry. I wonder - is it easier or harder than a miscarriage? That is CRAZY too.
When you get back, you'll have to meet us at the park, or just come over to visit. Sometimes leaving your house (or should I say housework) helps me to distance from things that are bogging me down mentally. Of course, you being a much better housekeeper, it might be just the opposite! Geesh. Hope you're doing well in utah!

Chocolate on my Cranium said...

That's exactly what happened with one of my miscarriages. It was actually better to deal with but it still was hard. I'm glad you'll be visiting with friends and family. That's a HUGE help. Hope it all goes as well as possible so you don't have to have surgery.

Kelly Jo said...

We just got back into town tonight and I'm just reading this. I'm so sorry. Hopefully I get to hug you in person this weekend.

Jolie said...

Nancy, I'm sorry to hear your news. (((BIG hugs to you)))

Jolie said...

Nancy, I'm sorry to hear your news. (((BIG hugs to you)))

Ken said...

I'm sorry to hear the news Nancy. Take care in Utah, we are thinking about you and your adorable family.

Paice Family said...

So sorry to hear about your cruel trick! I wish I were closer so I could come over and help you out with something. I'm glad you enjoyed your trip, and I hope everything works itself out alright. Good luck girl!