I've Decided

I've decided that Samuel's birthday should be August 26.

Here's why: First of all, he should be born on a Thursday because that's my doctor's day to be in the hospital all day and do all his planned deliveries (c-sections, inducements, surgeries, etc.). August 26 is the Thursday that I choose because Samuel'll be 36.5 weeks at that point. Some places I've read say that 37 weeks is counted as full term (I've always heard 38 weeks was full term, but who am I to argue with the internet?), so really August 26 is only a few days early. And, August 26 is this month! That just sounds good to me... to know that I'll be having a baby this month. Plus, I'm worried about this baby getting too big when I have absolutely no muscles left to push him out. I really, really worry that it'd become one of those situations where I push and push until I'm over-exhausted and then they have to do a c-section because I'm passed out. So earlier is better in that way.

Richard says I should wait one week more than that, until September 2. But school starts on September 7 and I want things to be a little more stable for the other kids before then.

Of course, all of this is mostly irrelevant. What I want, or what Richard wants, is really not the most important thing is this situation. It's about what's best for Samuel (she admits, grudgingly). If my doctor told me that it would be better to wait until September 2, or even the 9th, I would. Bitterly, but I would.

I have another appointment on August 10 and I'll discuss this plan with my doc then. We'll see what he thinks about it. He asked my opinion on the matter at my last appointment and I told him that I promised I would not have the baby before August 7, which is my baby shower, but that after that I made no promises. He laughed and patted me on the shoulder. So we'll just have to wait until August 10 to see what he really thinks.

So that puts you up to date on the circle that I think through every 5 minutes of every day. What I want, what Richard wants, what's best for the baby, what the doctor will say, what I want, what Richard wants, etc. Over and over. And over. Maybe it helps me feel in control. But every mother knows that sometimes you just really aren't in control of when a baby comes. I may get no say in the matter whatsoever. Gosh darn it.